Tonight I learned a very hard lesson...the hard way.
What I thought was going to be a wonderful evening with a man I have wanted to be with for more than 10 years, was not what I had hoped for.
Right now, my heart is in a million pieces but I know this hurt will fade and I will be a stronger, better person for what I have learned from the events which precipitated this heartache.
I am writing this post mainly as a way to get out what I learned so I an think it through during the process of writing. I also hope that someone can learn from this post to avoid heartache.
I have never been very 'suave' with men. I think it is because my mother became ill when I was a young teen and I never had anyone to teach me the proper way to be.
Here is what I learned tonight:
When a man is attracted to and interested in a woman, he will notice that she spent a long time to look nice for him and compliment her on it.
When a man is attracted to and interested in a woman, he will hold her hand, touch her and kiss her.
When a man is attracted to and interested in a woman she won't have to ask him to touch her when they become intimate.
When a man is attracted to and interested in a woman he will look at her and make eye contact as she touches him, he will not keep his eyes closed nor look away.
If a man ever says to a woman "You deserve more" or "You spoil me too much" she should get up and run away from him as fast as she can and never, ever look back because "He's just not that into her."
Many of these lessons seem so obvious and full of common sense but as we have all heard a million times "Love is blind." and trust me it definitely is.
Don't feel badly for me, I have finally learned so many lessons that I have struggled with for a very long time. Yes, right now it feels like my heart has been ripped out and stomped on but I WILL be OK, I will survive and I will go forward a lot smarter and wiser than I was just 9 hours ago.
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